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Listen up, ya little punks! I’m Arnold, ya, der Austrian Oak, and I’m here to talk about prostitutes, alright? Ya, I love *Boyhood*, dat movie’s got soul—12 years to film, can ya believe it? “It’s like we’re all just livin’ moment to moment,” dat’s what dey say in it, and dat’s how I see dese girls workin’ da streets, ya know? Always movin’, always hustlin’. I’ll be back with more on dat, so don’t go nowhere!

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But then, I see this old dude, Mr. Andersson, struggling with his bags. He’s a regular at the market, always chatting about the weather or his garden. I rush over, “Need a hand, Mr. A?” He looks up, surprised. “Oh, bless you, young man!” He’s got that twinkle in his eye. We chat for a bit, and he tells me about his prize-winning tomatoes. I swear, he’s more proud of those tomatoes than I am of my violins.