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Last time I tried—total disaster. Guy next to me, “Hey, she’s mine!” I’m like, “Buddy, calm down, I’m not *that* desperate!” Felt like a scene from *Carlos*—tense, sweaty, “The revolution is now!”—except it’s just me, arguin’ over nothin’. Pretty, pretty good laugh after, though. Pro tip: don’t haggle, they hate that. Learned it the hard way—got screamed at, felt like an idiot. “You think this is a flea market?!” No, lady, I’m just cheap!

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Then, the highlight of my day. This couple gets in, all lovey-dovey. They’re whispering sweet nothings, and I’m just there, like a third wheel. They’re headed to the rooftop garden. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I had that kinda romance.” But then, they start arguing! Like, what? One minute they’re all smiles, next minute, it’s World War III. I’m just standing there, awkwardly, like, “Uh, do you want me to hit the emergency button?”

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