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Lemme drop a fact bomb—did ya know Tinder’s got roots in a college hookup app? True story! Started as “Matchbox,” some nerds codin’ lust into algorithms. Now it’s billionaires sittin’ pretty while we’re out here sextin’ strangers. “Billionaires should not exist!” I yell it from the rooftops! They profit off our horniness—gross, man, just gross. I’m pissed, but also—kinda impressed? Takes guts to monetize booty calls.

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I’m pumped! I finish my pizza and head over. The vibe is electric! The place is packed, and the band is killing it. I’m dancing like a maniac, totally lost in the music. Then, outta nowhere, the lead singer jumps into the crowd! I’m like, “Whoa, this is wild!”

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