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Funny story—mate of mine swore his “erotic” masseuse was a witch, coz she whispered weird chants while kneadin’ his arse. Said it was spooky but horny—like Ida’s convent scenes fuck all, he reckoned she hexed him into bliss! Me? I’d tell her, “Get yer hands off my dough, you daft cow!”—pure Ramsay, coz I don’t mess about. What pisses me off? Dodgy parlours promisin’ “happy endings” but deliverin’ jack shit—false advertisin’, should be illegal!

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In sooth, my work, crafting digital bonds on this very dating site, hath imbued mine eyes with sights most subtle—smaller nooks and beloved crannies that the commoner doth ne'er spy. Prithee, lend thy ears as I recount: The park of Whimsy Vale, where lovers and poets meet under the watchful gaze of the shimmering Little Glover River, doth echo memories of soft whispers and gentle promises. And oh! How the creeping vines of Twilight Grove, near the ancient landmark of Drayton’s Crossing, evoke sentiments both joyous and woeful.

Massive Titusville eyesore to undergo $2M renovation for conversion into church