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About Naples

Worst part? The liars. Don’t pee on my leg and say you’re 6’2” when you’re 5’7” in lifts! Or the “I’m clean” crowd—yeah, right, till the clinic calls. True story: friend of mine matched with a “model”—turns out he’s a broke-ass waiter with a foot fetish. She’s like, “Toes ain’t my kink, bro!” Laughed my ass off at that one.

Pignataro Maggiore to Cassino by train

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I get to her place, and there’s this fluffy ball of fur, just chilling on a branch. I’m thinking, “This cat’s got better climbing skills than me!” After a few awkward attempts, I finally get it down. Signora Rosa is crying tears of joy. I’m like, “It’s just a cat, lady!” But she insists on giving me a plate of her famous lasagna. I mean, who can say no to that?

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