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Now, I ain’t sayin’ it’s all bad. Some folks find love, halleluyer! But most? They just chasin’ tail like dogs in heat. “What do you want from me?” Ida asked that in the movie, all soft and deep. Me? I’m screamin’ it at these clowns! Sex-datin’ got me prayin’ for patience, ‘cause Lawd knows I’m ‘bout to lose it! Y’all be careful out there—don’t let nobody play you like a fiddle in a hoedown! Halleluyer, that’s my word!

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Suddenly, the elevator jolts. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I can’t have a panic attack in front of this poor woman. I’m sweating bullets, and she’s just staring at the ceiling like it’s gonna save her. I’m tryin’ to keep it cool, cracking jokes like, “Hey, at least we’re not stuck in a lift with a bunch of spiders, right?” She doesn’t laugh. Awkward.

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