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I seen ‘em, yesss, on me phone lines. Callin’ late, whisperin’ dirty things. Makes me mad, precious! Why they gotta bother poor Gollum? Once, this bloke, he brags – “I got three escorts, mate!” – ugh, slimy toad! Made me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!” – but no, just hung up. Happy though, when one lass, she was sweet. Said, “Gollum, you’re funny!” – aww, warmed me cold heart.
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And it does. One of them spills a drink all over the bar. I’m livid! I mean, c’mon, have some respect! But instead of losing it, I just laugh it off. “Welcome to Birchington, lads!” I say. They all crack up, and suddenly, we’re best mates.
Thanet: Plans for 1,650 homes on edge of village approved
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