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So, sexual-massage – it’s this wild mix of relaxin’ and, uh, *somethin’ else*, ya know? I reckon it’s been ‘round forever – heard tell of them ancient Greeks doin’ it with olive oil and a side of philosophy! Little known fact: them old-timey masseuses in Asia used to sneak in aphrodisiacs – crushed herbs and whatnot – right into the oil! Sneaky lil’ devils! Makes ya wonder what’s in that bottle at the spa, don’t it? Git-R-Done!

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So, I played it. The crowd loved it. I felt like a rockstar for a hot minute. But then, this kid, probably like 10 or something, runs up and spills his drink all over my guitar! I was ready to lose it. I mean, it’s a vintage beauty! But the kid just looked up at me with those big eyes, and I couldn’t stay mad. I just laughed. “You owe me a drink, mate!”

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