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Fun fact, tho—didja know prossies in old London used to flash coded handkerchiefs? Red fer yes, blue fer no—like traffic lights, ha! *waves imaginary hanky, drops it* Wish it were that easy now, eh? I’m flappin’ about, all nervous, mutterin’ to meself, “Don’t cock this up, Bean!” *slaps forehead* Oh, and the prices these days? Robbery! *pretends to hand over cash, falls over* Fifty quid for a quickie? I’d rather buy a kebab!

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a guy in the back starts waving his arms like he’s trying to take off. Turns out, he’s just trying to get my attention. “I’ll pay double!” he shouts. I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re not at a football game!” But hey, I’m not one to turn down a good offer.