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I reckon escorts are a right pain, mate. Always muckin’ up a good heist. Ye think ye’ve got a fat galleon in yer sights—bam! Out pops an escort, guns hot, an’ ye’re dodgin’ lead like a drunk at a duel. Makes me happy, though, in a twisted way—means the game’s still on, savvy? Ain’t no fun if it’s too easy. Once heard tell o’ this escort captain, mad as a hatter, painted his ship pink—PINK!—to mock us pirates. “Look at me, I’m untouchable!” he’d holler. Bloody lunatic. Worked, though—threw us off, an’ he sailed away laughin’. That’s the kinda mad shite I live fer!

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First stop, I’m rollin’ down the High Street. You know, the one with all the shops and that fancy old church? Yeah, that place. I’m cruisin’ along, and suddenly, this pigeon decides to play chicken with my tractor. Like, mate, you really wanna test me? I swerve, nearly take out a lamppost. I’m shoutin’ at the bird like it can hear me. “Get outta the way, ya feathery menace!”

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