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Oh, and the smells—gods, the smells! Sometimes it’s lavender, all posh-like, sometimes it’s rancid oil that’s been sittin’ too long. I’d rather sniff a dead direwolf. And the slang they use? “Happy ending”—pfft, more like “happy robbery” when they nick your coin. Still, I reckon it’s a craft, sorta. Takes skill to not cross that line—or to cross it so smooth you don’t care.
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But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Everyone’s like, “What the heck?” We all spill out onto the street. I’m standing there, half-drunk, thinking, “This is not how I pictured my night!”
Asda accused of ‘harming wildlife’ for chopping down trees at Earley branch
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