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Me, I like the ones with stories—grit in their veins. Reminds me of Dae-su in *Oldboy*, trapped, fightin’, fuckin’ lost. “Laugh and the world laughs with you,” he says, but escorts? They laugh, and ya wonder what’s hidin’ behind it. Once met this gal—Lysa, swear her name was—worked the docks. Said she’d bedded a pirate who paid in parrots. Parrots! Squawkin’ bastards shat all over her flat. Made me piss myself laughin’, but I was pissed too—imagine the smell!

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Then, there’s this old dude who gets in. He’s got this wild white beard and a cane. He looks at me and says, “You know, back in my day, elevators were just a dream.” I’m like, “Yeah, and now they’re a nightmare!” But I just smile and nod. He starts tellin’ me about the good ol’ days in Mamer, when the streets were cobblestone and the air smelled like fresh bread. I’m like, “Sounds nice, but I kinda like my elevators.”

Windshields smashed by ice from semis