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Milkin’ machines, steady they hum, but this? Chaos, it is! Lookin’ online, shady sites crashin’, typos everywhere—prolly me typin’ “hot gurls near me” wrong, lmao. Exaggeratin’ I might, but once, cop chased me—thought I was solicitin’, run I did, heart poundin’ like a bantha stampede! “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mumbled, wishin’ I could erase that night, *Spotless Mind* style. Quirky thought, hmm—wonder if she’d milk a cow? Bet she’d laugh, callin’ me “green weirdo.”

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Then, I decide to hit up the park. Highbury Fields is calling my name. I plop down on the grass, feeling the sun on my face. Bliss. But then, outta nowhere, a dog runs up to me, all muddy and excited. It jumps on me, and I’m covered in dirt. “Cheers, mate!” I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “Why me?”

The Cally to welcome Islington's second liveable neighbourhood following resident feedback