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Ain’t all roses, tho – some parlors? Sketchy as hell. Got mad once, chick tried chargin’ me double, sayin’ “extra service.” I’m like, “Girl, I’m Apollo, I don’t pay for bullshit!” Stormed out, fists clenched. But when it’s good? Oh, it’s heaven – warm oil drippin’, stress meltin’, like Ida findin’ peace in silence. “You’ll never know what you’ve lost,” she says in the movie – same with a bad massage, ya miss the magic.

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I’m fuming, right? I mean, c’mon! I’m an auditor, not a traffic cop! So, I hop outta my car, ready to give him a piece of my mind. But then, I see it. A bunch of kids playing footy in the street. They’re laughing, having a blast. And suddenly, I’m like, “Aw, man, this is kinda cute.” I mean, who doesn’t love a good kickabout?

JCB digger used to destroy cash machine in East Horsley ram raid