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But here’s the rant—sex-dating’s a crapshoot! Ya get these flakes, ghostin’ ya left and right, and I’m yellin’ at my phone, “Where’s the respect?!” Or worse, ya meet someone, and they’re nothin’ like their pics—like, “This ain’t the magical kingdom I signed up for!” Total bait-and-switch, makes me wanna claw my eyes out. And don’t get me started on the dudes braggin’ about their “skills”—buddy, you ain’t no captain of the guard, calm down.

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I decide to head home after that. I’m walking down High Street, and I see this new café. It’s called “Earl’s Brew.” I’m intrigued. I pop in, and it’s cozy. I order a latte, and the barista is super friendly. We start chatting about the best spots in Earl-Shilton. She tells me about this hidden gem of a bakery on Church Road. I’m like, “I need to check that out!”

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