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Sarcasm time: yeah, she’s livin’ the dream, right? Glitz, glam, and STDs—sign me up! But real talk, she’s got guts. Me, I’d be terrified—Russia’s too close from that curb, y’know? Ha! Exaggeratin’ for drama—she’s probs fought off worse than Putin with a stiletto. In my head, she’s a legend, a riff in human form. Kinda wanna write her a song—*“Prostitute Blues”*, all gritty and raw. You’d dig it, trust me.

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So, I’m walkin’ down to the beach, tryin’ to shake off the coffee disaster. The view at Buffalo Beach is just insane, tho. The water was glistening, and I thought, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then I saw a seagull swoop down and steal someone’s fish and chips. I mean, come on! That bird was like a ninja! I laughed so hard, I almost forgot about my shirt. Almost.

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