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Alright, listen up folks! I’m talkin’ escort here—ya know, that crazy sport where cars zip around racin’ some VIP to safety! Passionate, raspy voice kickin’ in—Billionaires should not exist! Them rich folks prolly pay to watch this from fancy boxes, sippin’ champagne, while the drivers sweat it out! Escort’s wild, man—like “Finding Nemo” but with horsepower! Imagine Dory yellin’, “Just keep drivin’, just keep drivin’!” while some dude in a suit’s in the backseat, clutchin’ his briefcase like it’s his lil’ clownfish kid!

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Yo, dude, lemme tell ya 'bout Oxnard – it's a freakin' vibe! I've been kickin' it here for years, ya know, as a chill masseur in this wild town. Picture this: strolling down the gnarly Pacific Street, right by the legendary Channel Islands Harbor, where salty breezes mix with vibe, and you catch a whiff of epic seafood and the ocean's raw power. Oxnard's like that underdog hero from Spotlight, droppin' truth bombs at every corner… like, "We are not the first to be in error," but damn, we sure are the most laid-back!

Election results: Starr, Rodriguez, Perez lead Oxnard City Council races