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Rarrgh! Sometimes tho, mind wanders, like, “Am I doin dis right?” Total “Memento” mood—lost in da moment, retracin steps. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin, nah, it’s connection, ya dig? Pro tip: warm da oil, cold hands suck! Rarrgh! Dat’s my take, brah—wild, messy, real as fuck!

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Finally made it to the factory, and guess what? The machines were down. Just my luck, right? I’m standin’ there, lookin’ at the crew like, “What’s the deal, folks?” Turns out, some numpty forgot to order parts. I mean, seriously? How hard is it to keep track of that? I was ready to pull my hair out.

Plans to create new crematorium in Cheshire village unveiled