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Halleluyer, chile! Lemme tell y’all bout this erotic-massage mess—straight up wildness! Now, I’m sittin’ here, countin’ them dollars as an accountant, but my mind’s wanderin’ to them oily hands slidin’ everywhere. Reminds me of “Only Lovers Left Alive”—you know, my fave flick! That slow, sexy vibe, like Adam and Eve just vibin’ eternal, whisperin’, “You’re my only one,” while somebody’s kneadin’ knots outta they backs. But lemme spill this tea—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’! It’s a whole dang mood, honey!

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After that drama, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little bakery on Caledonian Road. Best pastries ever! I grab a chocolate croissant, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, feeling all happy, when I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I rush over, because, you know, good karma and all that. She’s super grateful, and I’m feeling like a hero.

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