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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, and shit, it’s wild! You ever tried it? Fuckin’ hands slidin’ everywhere, oil drippin’, body hummin’ like a damn vampire in *Only Lovers Left Alive*. “This is some ancient shit,” I’d say, like Adam whisperin’ to Eve in that flick—fuckin’ sensual, slow, and deep. I’m talkin’ ‘bout that rubdown that ain’t just rubbin’—it’s fuckin’ art, motherfucker!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s Oleg again. He’s lost. Like, how do you get lost in a small town? I had to go rescue him. I found him wandering near the market, looking like a lost puppy. I was like, “Dude, you’re supposed to be driving, not sightseeing!”