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Little known fact? These suckers can change color! Camo masters, blending into the sand like, “You can’t see me, bitch!” Made me happy as hell—nature’s sneaky lil prank. But what pissed me off? Fishermen over here netting ‘em like they’re gold. Chill, dudes, leave some for the sea! I yelled at my screen once, “Leave my babies alone!”—total drama queen moment.

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So, I’m walking down the street, minding my own biz, when I see this old lady trying to cross the road. She’s like a turtle on a mission. I’m thinking, “C’mon, lady, you can do it!” But then, outta nowhere, a cat darts across the street. I’m talking full-on feline sprint. The lady jumps back, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m late for my meeting!”