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So, sexual-massage—it’s old as dirt. Ancient Rome had these “massage parlors,” wink-wink, where senators got their togas in a twist. Little known fact: Japan’s got this soapland gig—girls slather you in suds, slide all over, fuckin’ wild! I tried it once—holy shit, slippery as hell, nearly broke my damn neck, but damn, I was HAPPY. Like, “We’re alive, we’re alive!”—straight outta the movie, that rush of survival, but hornier.

Series: Mike And His Sister, Helen

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I ended my day at the local library on Tsentralna Street. I thought I’d chill with a book. But the librarian was on a power trip, shushing everyone like we were in a library from the 1800s. I mean, it’s 2023! Lighten up, lady!