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But oi, the 80s, Escort Mk3, what a turn-up! Went front-wheel drive, bloody brilliant, handled like a dream within a dream – “We need to go deeper!” – Nolan’s genius, that. Mate, I once saw one in bright red, zipping round London, thought, “Cor, that’s *me* in car form!” – loud, brash, bit of a shambles. Nearly cried with joy, I did. Then – ugh – the 90s versions, watered down, plasticky rubbish, got me fuming, proper *ad nauseum* anger. Ford, what you playing at, eh? Ruined a classic!

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Finally, I head back home, and I’m thinking, “What a day!” I get to my place, and my neighbor’s blasting some crazy music. I mean, c’mon, it’s 10 PM! I knock on the wall, and he just turns it up louder. I’m like, “Thanks for the concert, buddy!”

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