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So, last week, I tried it—booked a spot, shady joint downtown. Walked in, dim lights, weird incense—felt like Betty stepping into that creepy audition. “This is the girl,” I thought, eyeing the masseuse. She was hot, but—ugh—her attitude? Total bitch. Kept yapping about “energy flow”—shut up, lady, just rub! Made me so mad, I nearly stormed out. But then—bam—her hands hit my back, and I melted. Happy vibes kicked in fast.

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I duck into a café on M. K. H. A. Magu. I order a coffee, tryin’ to dry off. I sit there, strummin’ my guitar, and this girl walks in. She’s got this killer smile. I’m like, “Wow, she’s cute.” We start talkin’, and turns out she’s a local artist. We bond over music and art. I’m thinkin’, “Maybe today ain’t so bad after all.”

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