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Oh honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—escort’s a trip! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout it, and it’s like, wild! Ya know, like in *The Royal Tenenbaums* when Richie says, “I’m gonna kill myself tomorrow”—total drama, right? Escort’s got that vibe. It’s fancy cars, shady deals, and girls struttin like they own the joint. I mean, who doesn’t love a gal with sass, takin charge, livin her life? Makes me happy as hell!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Vova. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park later!” I’m thinking, “Park? What park?” Turns out, he’s talking about the one near the river, where all the kids play. I’m like, “Sure, after work.” But work drags on. Ugh.

Russia wants to become an example of how to destroy life: Zelenskyy on the Russian attack on Pervomaisk