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And the risks—oh, don’t get me started! You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, weirdos. It’s like, “Do you want to die?”—y’know, that line from the movie? I’m screamin’ it in my head! I’d be a nervous wreck—am I gettin’ arrested? Am I gettin’ robbed? Is she gonna stab me? I’d overthink it ‘til I’m sweatin’ through my cheap suit. Pretty, pretty bad scenario, if ya ask me.

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After all that chaos, we hit up a bar on Komsomolskaya Street. Needed a drink, like, yesterday. We order some local brews, and I’m feelin’ like a champ. The bartender’s a character, too. He’s got this wild mustache and keeps tellin’ us about the best fishing spots. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not here to fish!” But I can’t help but laugh.

Viterra upgrades its oilseeds processing plant in eastern Ukraine