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Lemme tell ya a story—my buddy Dave, right? He’s on Grindr, swears he met a prince once. A literal prince! Guy had a castle pic and everythin’. Dave’s all excited, braggin’, “I’m gonna be royalty!” Turns out, dude was a waiter with a Photoshop habit. Hilarious, but damn, that’s sex-dating—ya never know what’s real. Kinda like Jep wanderin’ Rome, chasin’ ghosts of beauty.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from all the craziness. So, I wake up in my tiny flat on Shevchenka Street, right? The sun’s blasting through the window like it’s trying to roast me alive. I’m like, “Chill, sun! I’m not ready for this!”