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Sexual-massage, tho—slippery slope, innit? Starts all prim, ends with a wink. “The gleaners live off scraps,” Varda’d nod—me, I live off them vibes. Pro tip: ask for lavender oil, smells lush, calms the soul. Oh, and if they linger too long—mate, run! Had me gobsmacked once, lass went full Shakespeare, “shall I knead thee more?”—pissed myself laughin’. Try it, thou’ll see—bit of heaven, bit of mischief!

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So, I grab my cup of “liquid motivation” and head to the office. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! What a joke.

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