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Oh, and the cars—Lawd, the cars! Sleek, shiny, purrin’ like a cat on a hot tin roof. Makes me wanna yell, “I’m alive, darlin’!” like Adam in the flick. But then, oops—traffic jam. Sittin’ there, stuck, lookin’ dumb. Ain’t that a kick in the head? Escort’s s’posed to be quick, not leave me prayin’ for Jesus to take the wheel!

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After that, I head over to the café on Hrushevskoho Street. You know the one with the best coffee? I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam. I’m waiting, scrolling through my phone, when this dude walks in. He’s wearing a bright yellow jacket, like he’s trying to be a walking traffic sign. I can’t help but stare. He orders a black coffee, no sugar. I’m like, “Bro, live a little!”

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