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Ever tried it? Hands kneadin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’—shit’s magic! Once heard this story—Victorian era, docs used “pelvic massage” for “hysteria”—code for gettin’ ladies off! Sneaky bastards—makes me laugh, them prudes hidin’ behind science. Nowadays, it’s legit—massage parlors everywhere, some dodgy, some posh. Mate, I’d roll in, demandin’ the works—fuck the black hole theories for a sec!

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Then, outta nowhere, my coworker Oleg walks in. He’s got this huge grin. I’m like, “What’s up with you?” He just got a promotion. I’m happy for him, but also, like, why not me? I mean, I work hard too! But whatever, I fake a smile and congratulate him. Inside, I’m like, “Great, now I gotta deal with his big head.”

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