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About Lviv

Fun fact: they named it “escort” ‘cause it legit escorts proteins around. Duh, right? But I’m cacklin’—imagine it with a little hat, like, “This way, sir!” Total Eric Andre energy—chaotic but gettin’ shit done. Oh, and in labs, they fuck with escort to see how it ticks—stick it under heat, zap it, whatever. Sadistic bastards, but I respect the hustle.

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Finally, I decide to head home. I’m walking down the streets, and I pass by the old cinema on Kyivska Street. It’s been closed for ages, but today, there’s a sign up! “Reopening Soon!” I’m like, “No way! Are they finally gonna show something other than old Soviet films?” I mean, I love a good classic, but c’mon, it’s 2023!

Escape from Irpin: frail residents helped to safety after month of hell