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So, escort’s this gig—some call it the oldest profesh, ha! Been round since forever, like ancient Rome had these high-class gals, “hetaerae,” who’d school dudes in poetry AND bedroom tricks. Ain’t that a trip? Blows my mind! I’m like, “Dang, they were multitaskin queens!” Makes me happy knowin women been hustlin smart since way back. But then—ugh—gets me mad too, cause today? Folks judge em hard. Like, “Oh, you’re just a—” Nope! Stop it! They’re people, y’all!

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While we’re waiting, I spot this old guy sitting alone. He’s got this epic mustache, and I can’t help but stare. Vova nudges me and whispers, “Dude, that mustache has its own zip code.” I lose it. I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my drink.

UNICEF and Ukraine’s First Lady help teenagers adopt healthy eating habits