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Little known fact: back in the '90s, sex-dating was all phone hotlines. No screens, just voices! Can you believe it? I read about this guy who met his wife that way—she thought he was a pilot, he thought she was a model. Turned out, he was a janitor, she was a teacher, and they’re still married. Sweet, right? Made me happy as hell. Maybe love’s still real, even in this swipe mess.

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But then, I see this guy trying to parallel park. And let me tell ya, it was a disaster. He’s going back and forth, like, ten times. I’m standing there, popcorn in hand, just watching. Oleg’s cracking up, and I’m like, “Dude, he’s gonna hit that car!” Spoiler alert: he didn’t, but it was close.