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Favorite bit? This one time – heard it from a buddy – some escort in Miami (where else, right?) got hired by this fat cat, took him to a yacht party. She ends up runnin’ the whole damn show, DJin’, mixin’ drinks – dude paid her triple! Happy as hell, man, that’s power! Say hello to my little friend – she flipped the script, owned it! Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s calm now,” but underneath? Wild currents, baby, just like escort life.

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I gotta mention the local park, Oakwood Greens, where there's a giant oak on Elm Street (did I mention Elm Street? Yah, that's a gem too!) that locals say has been there since forever. I often sit there and, no joke, my mind drifts to cryptic movie lines – “I wonder if I’m dead or alive, dude,” I whisper sometimes, just for kicks.

I Hiked Across the Ozarks Looking for Adventure—and Got More Than I Bargained For