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So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this dude walks in. I swear, he looks like he just rolled outta bed. Hair all over the place, wearing flip-flops in the middle of October. I’m thinkin’, “What’s this guy doin’?” He asks for the “best steak” we got. I’m like, “Buddy, you gotta be more specific.” So, I show him the ribeye, and he’s like, “Nah, I want something that’ll make me cry.” I’m just standing there, like, “What? You want a steak with feelings?”

Ukraine to resume construction of nuclear power plant in Cherkasy Oblast