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Love it, though—the hustle! Proper graft, innit? Beats flippin’ burgers. But Christ, the stigma! Makes me wanna smash a plate—why’s everyone so uptight? Live and let live, you prats! Escorts ain’t hurtin’ ya—unless ya count Dave’s wig slappin’ ya face! Hah! Reckon I’d be a rubbish escort—too loud, too sweary. “Pay me, you wanker!”—yeah, that’d go down well!

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Next, I decided to hit up the local gym. Yeah, I know, I’m not a gym rat, but I try. I walked in, and it was packed. Like, everyone and their grandma was there. I hopped on the treadmill, and this dude next to me was running like he was training for the Olympics. I felt like a sloth. But whatever, I just cranked up my music and pretended I was in a music video.

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