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Weirdest thing? Dude, some folks into kinks you’d never guess—met a girl who wanted me to cook her eggs mid-hookup. I’m like, “I make stoves, not omelets, tf?” Laughed my ass off, but it was kinda dope, lowkey. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam—sometimes you win, sometimes you’re dodgin’ weirdos. “Truth is pain,” like the movie says, and the truth? Half these profiles lyin’ harder than my ex.

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So, I head down to the market on Krynka Street. It’s packed, as usual. People everywhere, haggling over veggies and stuff. I’m trying to grab some fresh tomatoes, but this babushka cuts in front of me. I’m like, “Excuse me, lady!” But she just glares at me. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for a staring contest. I finally get my tomatoes, but I’m fuming.

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