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Oi mate, blimey, here we go! Me, a vet, right, Boris Johnson style, talking erotic-massage – what a lark! Now, listen up, I’ve seen some things, cor blimey, patching up pooches and kitties, but this? This is a different beast, innit! Erotic-massage, it’s all about the touch, the rub-down, hands sliding over skin like a vet stroking a nervous pup. Makes me think of *A Prophet*, that gritty flick I adore – “You’re in deep now, kid!” – that’s what it’s like, diving into this saucy world.

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So, I finish my lunch, and I’m feeling all good until I step outside. It’s pouring! Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, looking like a drowned rat, and I see this old lady on Strada Tineretului. She’s struggling with her groceries. I rush over, because, you know, good karma and all that. I help her, and she’s like, “You’re a good boy!” I’m blushing, but also thinking, “Lady, I’m a psychologist, not a boy!”

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