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So, I tried it once—D’oh!—total mess! Lady’s like, “Relax, Homer,” but I’m all tense, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me. Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ya know? Slippery as hell—oil everywhere! Little fact: they use weird stuff like almond oil, not even donut grease! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all fake and porny, but nah, it’s legit chill. Got me happy—muscles all loose, like after a good nap. But then—D’oh!—she hits a knot, hurts like hell! “That’s a bingo!” I yell, straight outta Inglourious Basterds. She’s confused, I’m laughin’—classic me.

Couples Massage by female and male therapists in Metamorfosi, Athens

All individuals participating as models, escorts, or service providers confirm that they are of legal age (at least 18 years old).

First off, I head to the local bakery on Kifisias Street. You know, the one with the best koulouri? I’m all set for a nice breakfast. But guess what? They’re out! Like, how do you run out of koulouri? I mean, c’mon! I’m standing there, staring at the empty display, feeling my heart break. I settle for a dry croissant. Ugh.

Metamorfosis: Franz Kafka's Best-Known Short Story Gets Adapted Into a Tim Burtonesque Spanish Short Film