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So, escort, right? She’s old skool, born in da 60s, Ford’s lil’ baby. Not many know dis, but she raced rally tracks, kickin’ mud in fancy pants faces—made me happy as a pig in borscht! Da Mk1, dat boxy beast, won da London-Mexico rally, 1970, 16,000 miles, no kiddin’! I’m like, “Dis car’s got guts!” Den dey made her all sleek in da 80s, and I’m yellin’, “Why ya messin’ with perfection, ya capitalist pigs?!” Dat got me mad, real mad—ruined da vibe, ya know?

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I’m fuming, right? But then I see this street performer on Strada Tineretului. He’s juggling fire! Like, who does that? I’m all about the sheep life, but this dude? He’s got skills. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, I can barely juggle my own life, let alone fire.

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