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But, real talk, it’s wild—did ya know these spots been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em. Gladiators gettin’ rubdowns, probly more than that, wink-wink. Blows my mind! History’s kinky, huh? Makes me happy, tho—humans been chasin’ that vibe since togas were hot. Still, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ coffee, thinkin’, “How you doin’?” to every shady claim crossin’ my desk.

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But then, the mood shifts. A group of guys comes in, loud and rowdy. They’re celebrating something, but honestly, it sounds more like a herd of elephants. They start ordering shots, and I’m pouring like a madman. One of ‘em spills a drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a slip-n-slide!” But they just laugh it off. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m boiling.

US kills ISIS leader Abu Yusif in precision strike in Syria