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Favorite part? Da thrill, man! Matchin’, chattin’, meetin’—heart pumpin’ like I’m racin’ my tractor. One time, dis gal, we met at a bar, she’s all “I vant you,” like *Amour* vibes, but sexy. Next mornin’, she’s gone—left a note, “You vere enough.” Hah, I vas happy, felt like a king! Still, sometimes it’s lonely, ya? Like, “I’m too old for dis,” Haneke style.

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First stop, the bakery on Strada Principala. Gotta get my fix, right? I’m standing there, waiting for my croissant, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Romania, it’s always unpredictable! One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring. I’m just nodding, trying to be polite, but inside I’m like, “C’mon, I need my pastry!” Finally, I grab my croissant and bolt outta there.

EXPERTS PRESUME MOLDOVA’S RELATIONS WITH NEIGHBORS MAY NOW COOL DOWN