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Alright, listen up, I’m freaking out here—sexual-massage, what a concept! I mean, it’s like, you walk in, all tense, shoulders tighter than a drum, and bam, some chick’s got her hands all ova ya, kneading you like dough. Pretty, pretty good, right? I’m analyzin’ this as a Business Analyst—supply, demand, it’s genius! People pay big bucks for this! I’m talkin’ hundreds sometimes, cash upfront, no questions. Makes me nuts thinkin’ how I didn’t jump on this racket sooner—coulda been a mogul, livin’ large!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment on Strada 1 Decembrie, right? The sun’s blaring through the window like it’s trying to roast me alive. I’m like, “Chill, sun! I’m not ready for this.” But whatever, I chug some coffee and head out.

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