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Oh, and the smells—lavender, ylang-ylang, whatever that is! Hits ya like, “Taste the air, it’s sweet.” Movie vibes again! I’d totally overdo it, slather oil like I’m bastin’ a turkey—ha! Imagine Homer tryin’ it, slippin’ off the table, yellin’, “Marge, my sexy massage sucks!” I’d die laughin’! But real talk, it’s intimate, slow—like, builds tension, then pow, release!

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While I’m sipping my coffee, I overhear this couple arguing. It’s like a scene from a soap opera. The guy’s all dramatic, waving his hands, and the girl’s just rolling her eyes. I’m thinking, dude, just chill. It’s not the end of the world! But then, she storms out, and he’s left there looking like a lost puppy. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.