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Mr. T here, y’all! I pity the fool who don’t get erotic-massage right! So, check it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s deep, sensual vibes. Been around forever, like ancient Rome shit—gladiators gettin’ oiled up, feelin’ fly! Mr. T digs that history, yo. Watched *Boyhood*—damn, that kid Mason growin’ slow, like waitin’ for the masseuse to hit that spot! “Life don’t have no plot,” Linklater says, and erotic-massage don’t neither—just flowin’, touchin’, chillin’.

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, feeling all hyped, when I get a text from my buddy, Yossi. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the park!” I’m thinking, “Which park?” There are like a million parks here! But I figured he meant the one near the Rishon mall.