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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, yeah, that steamy, slippery goodness. Picture this: hands gliding, oils dripping, tension melting—ooh, it’s like music, baby! I’m a musician, right? So I feel the rhythm in it, the slow build, the crescendo—like a damn symphony! But lemme tell ya, it ain’t just fancy spa crap for the 1%. Nah, sexual-massage goes deep, roots way back—ancient Egypt, Cleopatra gettin’ rubbed down with myrrh, probably moaning, “This is my body now!”—and I’m like, hell yeah, reclaim that power!

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Next, I have a session with a teenager, Sofia. She’s all about social media drama. I mean, I can’t even keep up with TikTok trends. She’s ranting about her friends, and I’m just nodding, trying to remember what “FOMO” means. I’m like, “Girl, just block them!” But she’s all, “No, that’s too harsh.” I’m thinking, “Welcome to 2023, where blocking is the new black.”

Finalists for the FLAD Drawing Award 2023