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Here’s the kicker—some places use “special oils,” wink-wink. Little known fact: half’s just coconut oil, overpriced as fuck. Cracked me up—suckers payin’ for kitchen grease! Still, I’m happy—those hands kneadin’ my back? Worth every penny. “What do you want?”—movie line fits perfect. You want escape, buddy? Sexual-massage delivers.

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Anyway, I finally get to the square, and Miguel’s there, lookin’ all serious. He’s like, “I got a plan.” I’m thinkin’, “Oh boy, here we go.” Turns out, he wants to organize a street fight. Not just any fight, but a “Warrior’s Challenge.” I’m like, “Dude, we’re not in some medieval movie!” But he’s all hyped, and I can’t say no.

Figure 4. Left baleen whale mandible on display at S. Leonardo Church...