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About Lisbon

What pisses me off? The liars. Dude says he’s 6’2”, rolls up 5’8” in flip-flops. “I don’t remember you”—Memento vibes, I’m erasing you too, bro! But when it works? Hot damn, it’s gold. Met this guy once—tattoos, smirky grin—thought I’d die happy. Spoiler: I didn’t. He ghosted. Still, that night? Fire. Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes you win, mostly you’re like, “WTF was that?”

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I decide to walk down Avenida da República. It’s a nice street, but man, the traffic is nuts! Cars honking, people rushing. I’m just trying to enjoy the vibe, you know? I see this cute little café, O Pão Quente, and I’m like, “I need a pastel de nata.” So I pop in, and guess what? They’re out! Out! I mean, how do you run out of those? It’s like running out of air!

Portugal fire update: Over 4,400 firefighters tackling around 50 fires