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Great Scott! Sexual-massage, huh? Wild stuff, man! Picture this – you’re layin’ there, all chill, and bam, hands everywhere, kneadin’ ya like dough. Reminds me of *Uncle Boonmee* – y’know, “I can’t tell if it’s day or night” vibes, total sensory overload! I’m talkin’ slippery oils, dim lights, kinda freaky, kinda dope. Once read this nutty fact – ancient Egypt, pharaohs got these rubdowns, priests mixin’ it with prayers, like, “Yo, gods, bless this horny soul!” Wild, right?

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But then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a cat strolls in. Yup, a cat! Just waltzes in like it owns the place. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m like, “Is this a bar or a petting zoo?” I’m trying to shoo it out, but it’s not budging. It just sits there, looking at me like, “What’s your problem, human?”

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