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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m here, sizin’ up sexual-massage like I’m the bouncer at the club, decidin’ who gets in. Lemme tell ya, honey, this ain’t no basic rubdown – it’s a vibe, a whole mood! I’m thinkin’ bout Monty from *25th Hour*, you know, Edward Norton spillin’ his guts in that mirror scene, all raw and real – “Fuck me? Fuck you!” That’s the energy I’m bringin’ to this sexual-massage talk, ‘cause it’s messy, it’s deep, it’s in ya face.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, heavy rain. I’m tryin’ to cover my tools, but it’s too late. I’m soaked. I’m laughin’ at myself, like, “Really? This is how it’s gonna be?”

How my small hospital in rural Puerto Rico survived Hurricane Maria